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  • Writer's pictureWest Island News

20 things you don’t want your toddler to learn

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My Nanny, who I unfortunately never got to meet, used to say “they’re so smart until they go to school”. And honestly, the older I get, the more I understand what she meant.

We found a hilariously brilliant list of simple facts that @henpecked_hal on Instagram is terrified of his toddler discovering. We added to the list by including all the awesome comments attached to his post.

See below for the complete list


1. Public parks don’t randomly close

2. TVs don’t run out of batteries

3. There is no actual world record for “fastest at putting away toys”

4. Chicken the animal and chicken the food are the same thing

5. Not everyone goes to sleep when they go to sleep

6. The dentist doesn’t actually call every night to ask about how tooth brushing went

7. Baby shark doesn’t need to take a break from singing every other day so he can nap

8. Breaking a cookie in half does not equal two cookies

9. Bandaids don’t in fact make it stop hurting

10. The music truck is actually the ice cream truck

11. Build-a-bear isn’t just for birthday parties

12. Santa isn’t watching

13. Nothing really happens when you count down from 5 to 1

14. The tooth fairy can in fact come to messy rooms

15. Beer isn’t daddy medicine

16. Belly buttons aren’t actually reset buttons for temper tantrums

17. iPads can be charged more than once a week

18. Apple juice tastes way better without water added to it

19. Pigs don’t like bacon, they are bacon

20. Daddy won’t actually enforce anything “when your dad gets home”


Let us know in the comments if you have any to add to this list!

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